I wrote the following post maybe 2 or 3 years ago but I never felt to share it until now. So, my last name is Payan and sounds like pie-yawn. You ready? Here goes...
I added this picture from Christopher's graduation.
I have a testimony I would like to share with you. I moved back to Glendale, Arizona in 2008 and had lived here about one and a half years when this story took place. It happened on a Sunday morning at church during the altar service, I cannot tell you what the preaching was about but I can tell you that I've never forgot that church service nor have I let go of what was promised to me that day; I am standing on the promises of the Lord for my miracle. I hope this encourages you in your walk with the Lord and in trusting the hand that not only shakes the foundations of doubt, He removes them. This is how God got a hold of my attention.
It was at the start of the altar service and I thought to myself, "I'll just pray here at my pew." I was not praying a real deep prayer but I was praying when all of a sudden Pastor Garrett came and placed both hands firmly (grabbed) on my head and began to deliver this message with such boldness in the Holy Ghost that I suddenly went from just simply praying to grabbing-hold-to-the-horns-of-the-altar type prayer. This is what he said,
"Siss-Ter Dar-lene Pa-yan, the Holy Ghost told me to tell you, "Whatsoever ye ask for, He is going to give it. If it is for your husband, He will give you your husband, if it is for your children, He will give you your children, if it is financial, He will bless you financially, all you have to do is ask it of Him and He will give it to you."
I began to weep, my friend. I wept and talked to the Lord earnestly and with such humility that God would let me ask for anything and He would give it and in that humility this is what I prayed.
"God, I don't need to ask for finances. You have showed me how good You take care of me. If I am in need of anything You have provided for me and my children. What I want is my husband. I want Ralph saved and for him to come home. He is lost in a world of sin and needs You to save him. I want my husband saved. I want Kristen saved, Lord. There are struggles... and... in her life. She needs You or she will be lost. I want Jared saved, Lord. I want my son to be a "Man After God's Own Heart", one that serves You and lives for You all the days of his life. I want Christopher to be saved. God, all this heartache over everything that happened in our lives while he was young has hurt him. Each time that he says he wants his dad to come home and that he wants his dad saved, he always proclaims, "God is going to bring him home and things are going to be different." He has the faith of a child in You, Lord. But today and in his future I want Christopher to be saved. Use my son, Christopher, for your kingdom. You spared his life so many times for Your service, use my son, Lord." Then I began to name each of my siblings and their children. I prayed for my parents. I prayed for my Ralph's parents and each of their children.
I cried out, "God, this is what matters. Not the finances, not the job. You always provide, I have never seen the righteous forsaken nor Your seed begging for bread. Ne-verrr."
Well, my friend, at the start of this year's prayer and fasting something got a hold of me or was it that I got a hold of faith. I began to pray, "Lord, I am going to praise You as if it already were. I am seeing through eyes of faith and not fear and doubt." This is what I have been telling the Lord when I pray.
"Lord, I did not ask the Man of God to step down off the platform and say those words to me. You spoke to the Man of God to deliver this message. You offered me anything and that You would give it. Remember that day, Lord? Remember when You said through Pastor, "If it's your husband He will give you your husband"? That was your message to me, God. I remind You of the promise You offered me. I know You have not forgotten, but I am seeing it as though it already were. Because You, God, You said it".
Friend, it will not be long. In prayer the Lord showed me a time frame and we are close my friend. We are so close. I can tell you more about the prophesies of others messages were given to my family such as: A missionary from China visiting our services, came up to my daughter and said to her, "Your dad is going to come home." We never met this missionary before yet he had a message from the Lord to my daughter.
A lady at my work, asked me if I was married? I told her no. She said, "You might think this is weird because I don't even know you, but, I feel like I am supposed to tell you that your husband is coming home. I don't know why I am saying this, I was trying to ignore this feeling because, well, I don't even know who you are." My reply was this, "You might not know me but God knows me and He wanted to show me He is at work in my life. It might seem strange to you but it is not strange to me. Thank you for telling me this, you don't know how much it meant to me." Then she looked at me and asked if I believe in God, because she believes but she doesn't go to church and that was why this was strange to her. It provided me an opportunity to tell her of the Lord. He is an awesome God!
I have been renewed with such joy and a grateful heart for what is going to happen.
I love you, dearly.
